Happy New Year!
Hey everyone, Happy New Year! It's just after 2 and the fireworks are still going off everywhere.
It was an awesome night tonight. We held a worship service at a different local church, which meets on the 3rd floor of their building. Yep - we hauled all of our gear up 3 flights of ramp (thankfully not steps). They hooked us up with some awesome local fruits afterward. Papaya, mangopequeno (just a small mango), grapes, apples, melon, and some soda.
The service was great - God showed up in a BIG way. I'm so glad we weren't on the beach. He clearly wanted us there tonight. The theme we seem to be finding as we go is "God has a dream for you", where Henry talks about the dreams instilled in us by God that He wants us to fulfill in and through Him. So many people here have crushed dreams - our own friend here who serves as translator for Henry, Al, was told repeatedly by his father as a child that he would never amount to anything. Al is one of the most kind, strong, beautiful men I have ever met and I told him so today. He still struggles with the lie that he's nothing and undeserving of the call he's received. He and I have a lot in common. He considers translating in front of a large church to be a great honor, and it is, but he still sees it as something he can't imagine himself doing.
So many people there tonight were changed visibly as we moved through worship. The Spirit was manifest in that place with us. Once again so many people were driven to the floor, myself included once again, so much so that faces were being pressed against the carpeting. God's clear message tonight was to enter the new year and leave all the old baggage and pain behind in the past.
My personal breakthrough occurred in our prayer meeting earlier in the day where I found that 2 days ago a wound had been opened again after a long time, about a relationship with family that I need to repair. As a result of that damaged relationship and many other lies from my past, I often felt I do not deserve gifts from God, and that something I enjoy and love is clearly something I should not have. Those barriers were ripped and torn down last night and today. Other members of the group said they saw me struggling with it last night at the youth rally. They saw me hesitate while singing, nearly avoiding really committing myself wholeheartedly to the song. One of the guys told me that when I went after it and hit that note that he wanted to jump out of his skin. I've been complimented before, but it was such a great honor to hear it about something that I've been struggling with so greatly.
Tonight I had no problem and I worshiped God without fear or shame and it was magnificent. I have been envious of people I see for so long who can throw themselves into their worship while I remain reserved and silent. Not any more. My heart was opened completely in worship tonight and I never want to hide it again. Ever. I'm sitting here crying while I type that's how amazing this feeling is. My heart aches that I was so restrained, ashamed, and fearful before.
I really wish you could all be sharing this experience with me, and hope that this blog is serving as some pale copy of the experience so that you can feel something of what I do at this moment. One of my dreams has been fulfilled in this place, this beautiful country where the people are without hope. It's just incredible to see the difference that restored hope can make in the eyes of these men and women.
This may be my last post for about 3-4 days. The area we are heading to may not have internet access, and I'm fairly certain that the island off the coast doesn't have it either. I may be wrong, but only the next day knows what it will bring.
May the peace, love, hope, and truth of God be with all of you this week and sustain you in times when hope is waning and when your dreams seem unachievable. I love you all, and God bless.
It was an awesome night tonight. We held a worship service at a different local church, which meets on the 3rd floor of their building. Yep - we hauled all of our gear up 3 flights of ramp (thankfully not steps). They hooked us up with some awesome local fruits afterward. Papaya, mangopequeno (just a small mango), grapes, apples, melon, and some soda.
The service was great - God showed up in a BIG way. I'm so glad we weren't on the beach. He clearly wanted us there tonight. The theme we seem to be finding as we go is "God has a dream for you", where Henry talks about the dreams instilled in us by God that He wants us to fulfill in and through Him. So many people here have crushed dreams - our own friend here who serves as translator for Henry, Al, was told repeatedly by his father as a child that he would never amount to anything. Al is one of the most kind, strong, beautiful men I have ever met and I told him so today. He still struggles with the lie that he's nothing and undeserving of the call he's received. He and I have a lot in common. He considers translating in front of a large church to be a great honor, and it is, but he still sees it as something he can't imagine himself doing.
So many people there tonight were changed visibly as we moved through worship. The Spirit was manifest in that place with us. Once again so many people were driven to the floor, myself included once again, so much so that faces were being pressed against the carpeting. God's clear message tonight was to enter the new year and leave all the old baggage and pain behind in the past.
My personal breakthrough occurred in our prayer meeting earlier in the day where I found that 2 days ago a wound had been opened again after a long time, about a relationship with family that I need to repair. As a result of that damaged relationship and many other lies from my past, I often felt I do not deserve gifts from God, and that something I enjoy and love is clearly something I should not have. Those barriers were ripped and torn down last night and today. Other members of the group said they saw me struggling with it last night at the youth rally. They saw me hesitate while singing, nearly avoiding really committing myself wholeheartedly to the song. One of the guys told me that when I went after it and hit that note that he wanted to jump out of his skin. I've been complimented before, but it was such a great honor to hear it about something that I've been struggling with so greatly.
Tonight I had no problem and I worshiped God without fear or shame and it was magnificent. I have been envious of people I see for so long who can throw themselves into their worship while I remain reserved and silent. Not any more. My heart was opened completely in worship tonight and I never want to hide it again. Ever. I'm sitting here crying while I type that's how amazing this feeling is. My heart aches that I was so restrained, ashamed, and fearful before.
I really wish you could all be sharing this experience with me, and hope that this blog is serving as some pale copy of the experience so that you can feel something of what I do at this moment. One of my dreams has been fulfilled in this place, this beautiful country where the people are without hope. It's just incredible to see the difference that restored hope can make in the eyes of these men and women.
This may be my last post for about 3-4 days. The area we are heading to may not have internet access, and I'm fairly certain that the island off the coast doesn't have it either. I may be wrong, but only the next day knows what it will bring.
May the peace, love, hope, and truth of God be with all of you this week and sustain you in times when hope is waning and when your dreams seem unachievable. I love you all, and God bless.
posted by Kevin at 11:11 PM
2 Comments:
My Google password doesn't seem to want to work right now so.... Deb Said....I knew God had his own plan for tonight! I'm so glad you correspond as often as you do. I do feel like I'm sharing this experience with you through your narrative. It's an awesome adventure to follow you and witness God at work through such great and dedicated people. I'm sure none of us can even imagine the gap the Holy Spirit is filling in the men, women and children there. Just praise God that this can happen at all! God be with you all.
deb
Kevin,
It is awesome what you are doing down there. We look forward to reading about the rest of your trip and hearing of the things God is doing thru you. You are in our prayers.
God bless,
Matt, Karol, Garrett, and Cody Blair
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